The Extra Hour

By Samuel Lubell

 

As you know, on October 31^st the calendar was official changed back an hour, giving everyone an hour's worth of extra time.  Here's how prominent WSFAns spent the time.

 

WSFA President Judy Kindell spent the hour practicing her jump shots to achieve her dream of playing for the WNBA.

WSFA Vice-President Sam Pierce spent the hour setting the world's record for motorcycling between Washington and Baltimore,  "I left at 1:59 am and arrived at 2:05 am." 

WSFA Treasurer Bob MacIntosh spent his hour plotting ways to raise more money for the treasury.  He settled on renting WSFA's science fictional expertise to NASA. "Well, at least we've all heard of the metric system." 

WSFA Secretary Samuel Lubell spent the hour scanning in drawings for the WSFA Journal (yes, this one is true, sigh.)

Conchair Covert Beach was engaged in heavy negotiations for the hotel he secretly has chosen for the next WSFA convention, for which he already has over 100 authors secretly pledged to attend. He plans on starting his next report with the word, "surprise"

Trustee Michael Walsh spent the hour receiving instructions from Mentor of Arisia about what science fiction author he should publish next.

John Pomeranz is writing letters to all the attendees of the Smithsonian writing course that begin, "Congratulations for winning the Hugo award.  Remember how you got your start..."

Trustee Lee Gilliland spent the nonexistent hour working on her new line of 'timeless' jewelry. 

Trustee Steve Smith spent the hour on a top secret plan to combat the Y2K crisis by combining the extra hours of 8,760 Americans.

 

Forced to Wear A Real Costume

 

The First Friday of October was the first of October and the meeting was at the Ginters.  "Let's have a meeting" said Sam "the President of Vice" Pierce from his chair in the middle.  The first Friday in Maryland was called to order at a quarter after nine.  Sam "Mr. Editor" Lubell reported about what was decided at the last meeting, "We have to fend for ourselves for food."  "Cannibalism I tell you," suggested John "Humans are happy meals with legs" Pomeranz.  "Hello, Domino's" Eric "The Kibitzer" Jablow suggested an alternative. Bob "The Treasurer" MacIntosh reminded us why we're going to drinks only, "$2,886.90.  We're getting poor." 

"Any reports on co-sponsoring events?" asked VP Pierce.  "We're having one," reported John.  "We have 86 people.  But I want us over 100.  The current president of SFWA will be there, Paul Levitson.  He is an expert on Marshal McCullen.  I gues someone had to be.  At last we have flyers.  Please take these to bookstores, libraries, and other houses of ill-repute.  It's up to us to advertise it.  The Smithsonian just does pebbles.  Sam has been good at getting a press release out.  I will be getting it out to the Gaylaxians, Fantec, and other groups."

            "I doubt that Fantek will be interested said," said Joe "The Cartoonist" Mayhew.

            "I can give it to the Gaylaxians since I am seeing them on Friday," said Collen "Knowledge is Power" Cahill. 

            For new business, Eric asked "Where will the October 29^th meeting be?"  Sam Pierce asked for volunteers.  Erica "Three in a Row" Ginter said she had to check with the man downstairs. 

            Joe said that he is working out a deal with Balticon to get us a room.  "Hal Haig is assistant chair.  If we can get WSFA to do something at the con just to get us used to the idea of working together. It can't be closed but open to all, proably will be near con suite.  I want to say that we will have people willing to work. Not as a quid pro quo but to get WSFA used to doing more than eating.  I am speaking as an expert."

            Erica said, "We will have Fifth Friday here.  Costumes are encouraged but not required.  But those who are wearing regular clothes but say they are a geek will be forced to wear a real costume."  Madeleine asked, "Can I wear black and be a goth?"  Erica said, "No, but you can wear the thing you are knitting and go as an albino black panther."  Madeleine puts it on.  "Yahoo Serious" said Eric.

            Robert Sawyer will be at the Library of Congress on Nov 10^th at 12 noon.  In January they will be showing anime.  Joe wants to look through someone's collection of Asimov's.  Erica has information from person doing sense of community among sf fans.  Joe said that a magazine in England is experieicing a shortage of full stops (what Americans call periods).  French will send them decimals, computer people will send them dots.  John said he gets them wholesale as ellipses.  He offered to send them colons that they can turn on the side and cut them apart.  Erica said we in America overuse the apostrophe.  We'll have a shortage.  The club ranted about Harlan Ellison's rants.  The meeting adjourned at 9:41. 

Attendance:  VP Sam Pierce, Sec. Samuel Lubell, Treas. Bob MacIntosh, Trust. Steven Smith, Bernard Bell, Erica Ginter, Eric Jablow, Keith Lynch, Nicki and Richard Lynch, Joe Mayhew, Walter Miles, Michael Nelson, Barry and Judy Newton, Meridel Newton, Evan Phillips, John Pomeranz, George Shaner, William Squire, Colleen Cahill, Michael Taylor, Madeleine Yeh, Alexander Slate, Scott Hofmann, Daniel Horne, Rob Kean.

 

ISAAC'S STORM by Erik Larson

Reviewed by Alexis Gilliland

 

In the current Smithsonian there is an article about the Galveston flood of September 8, 1900, and when we went into a bookstore Lee spotted the book here under review. She finished it up in the early hours of morning and thrust Isaac's Storm into my hands later that same day. I read it in one evening, with a break for dinner; the book is a real grabber. We note also the cover blurb: "A Man, a Time, and the Deadliest Hurricane in History." This refers to US history, of course. In Galveston 8,000 died; in the Bay of Bengal, cyclonic storms have often killed more than 100,000 at one blow.

That said, we note that the book is a detailed portrait of the times----post Civil War America---and how the spirit of those times made it possible to build the city of Galveston on a sandbar that rose only 8 feet above mean high tide with no precautions taken against great storms. On July 15, 1891, Isaac Cline, the then 28--year old scientist of the US Weather Bureau stationed at Galveston, wrote an article on hurricanes in the Galveston News. The article was written in response to a tropical storm that had come ashore at Matagordo, 120 miles southwest of Galveston, ten days before. "The coast of Texas is, according to the general laws of the motion of the atmosphere, exempt from West India hurricanes and the two which have reached it followed an abnormal path which can only be attributed to causes known in meteorology as accidental." The impact of those two "accidental" storms was downplayed, the total property damage of both together being described as "less than that of a single tornado in Louisville, KY." In fact, the port of Indianola, 150 miles southwest of Galveston, lost 176 people, a fifth of its population to the storm of September 16, 1875. The survivors chose to rebuild. The second hurricane hit on August 20, 1886. It was worse than the first one, and this time the survivors abandoned Indianola forever. Six weeks after the 1886 hurricane, 30 prominent citizens of Galveston met and resolved to build a seawall; Texas authorized a bond to pay for the work, but this was some months later, and by then a general consensus had arisen that it ain't a gonna blow no more', no more there would never be another hurricane. That seawall--planned to be all of ten feet high--was never built. Cline's article, written five years later, concluded: "It would be impossible for any cyclone to create a storm wave which could materially injure the city.

After the event, when a badly shaken Cline was writing his account of the disaster, he did say how he had tried to weather the storm in his well--built house five blocks from the beach, and that he lost his wife when the house broke up. There was also much that he wanted to say, but could not----how headquarters and the West Indies Service had failed to recognize the storm as a hurricane, how even he had not understood the signs of warning until too late. What he wrote was: "Storm warnings were timely and received a wide distribution not only in Galveston but throughout the coast region." What he left out was that none of the warnings mentioned a hurricane. Cline wasn't the only one putting spin on the story; in the Houston Post of September 28, he read a letter from his boss, Willis Moore, defending the Weather Bureau's indefensible track record by falsely asserting that a hurricane warning had been sent to Galveston, and that hurricane flags had been raised as early as Friday the 7th. The editors of Cuba's Diario de la Marina sneered at the Yanqui assertion of competence by citing the record: "The same day that the Weather Bureau published in the papers of Havana that the last hurricane had reached the Atlantic, the Belen Observatory said in the same papers that the center had crossed the eastern portion of the island and that it would undoubtedly reach Texas. A few hours later the first telegraphic announcement of the ravages of the cyclone in Galveston was received."

Subsequently, in 1909, Willis Moore predicted Taft's inaugural would be "clear and colder." It snowed. By 1910 Galveston had completed a seventeen foot seawall which weathered nine hurricanes between 1915 and 1983. Cline, the scientist, wrote two books establishing that a hurricane's storm surge may do more damage than its winds, and in 1913 Cline, the bureaucrat, handed over Willis Moore's letters (on an unrelated matter) to the Justice Department, to provide the evidence which got Moore fired. Isaac Cline, who never remarried, died in 1955, at the age of 93.

 

University of Maryland to Show SF Art

 

POSSIBLE FUTURES: SCIENCE FICTION ART FROM THE FRANK COLLECTION

January 27 through March 4, 2000   Opening Reception: Thursday, January 27, 5:30-7:30 pm

 

Possible Futures: Science Fiction Art From The Frank Collection will present 64 original paintings by the most significant artists of this genre, the individuals who have been responsible for illustrating science fiction publications since the 1930s. We believe that this will be the first museum exhibition to provide a critical assessment of science fiction art through a major traveling exhibition, a scholarly catalogue, a symposium, and a website.  These pictures are most familiar as the covers of science fiction paperbacks and lie outside the realm of "real" art for most connoisseurs; however, many exhibit superb draftsmanship, extraordinary and expressive vision, and remarkably telling iconography. 

Science fiction illustrations have an admiring audience among magazine and book readers, but very few of these viewers are familiar with the originals.  The published illustrations have rarely been seen in full scale as paint on canvas or board and without the books' titles inserted into the images.  Even more rarely have they been viewed as serious art or studied as part of twentieth century art history.  They are not included in art history texts nor in the collections of many museums. 

Some science fiction artists function exclusively in the commercial world, working on commissions and assignments, while others have dual careers and also produce work outside the science fiction genre--"fine" art for an entirely different audience.  Some sell their science fiction art under a pseudonym, similar to the practice among authors.  Perhaps the most familiar name in this exhibition is James Warhola, nephew of Andy Warhol.  The show will also include works by seminal figures such as Frank R. Paul (1884-1963), who illustrated a scene from H. G. Wells' novel, The War of the Worlds when it appeared in the first issue of the science fiction magazine Amazing Stories in 1927 and Chesley K. Bonestell (1888-1986), who worked first in the field of architecture and then for the film industry producing painted landscapes for such science fiction films as War of the Worlds.  Other important artists are Norman Saunders (1906-1988), whose commissions include Marvel Magazine (1939) and Mary Shelley's Frankenstein; John Berkey, who has created painterly depictions of subjects such as spaceships landing in bucolic landscapes for book covers, magazines, and movie posters; and Jim Burns, whose credits include designing for the movie Bladerunner. 

 

 

Flash

Efforts are now underway to build a truly unique luxury hotel. The good news: The new resort will be out of this world. The bad news: Week-long reservations will probably cost $20,000 or more--because this hotel will be in space, orbiting 3,000 miles above the earth. Space Island Group Inc. (www.spaceisland.com) estimates funding for its proposed holiday space station at a mere $10 billion and will be leasing shuttles from NASA. Currently looking for interns to assist in the megaproject, Space Island hopes to implement (temporary) colonization as early as 2006.

Getting Smaller All the Time

The 10/15 Third Friday was also held in Maryland.  "Anyone?" said prez Judy.  The treasury is "Getting smaller all time" reported Bob at $2,731.90.  One call for a party was heard.  "Let's have a poker game" suggested John.  Convention Chair Covert said "No progress."  Judy asked, "Would you like some help?"  Covert said, "I'll get a list of hotels and then partial them out." 

The Smithsonian committee reported an event next Friday, "At last count 100 people have signed up.  Cathy and I registered.  We succeed if we get over 100.  We win if we get over 150.  There are more flyers here for people to distribute.  Please encourage people to attend this.  I think it is a nice thing for the Smithsonian to do to partner with WSFA and if we get people they will partner with us again.  My office has informed me that I will not attend Friday night.  Who has the WSFA press books?  I'd like to have them at the event."  People told him to negotiate with Mike Walsh.  "Friday night, the event will be at the Arts and Industry building.  Saturday night it will be in the Ripley Center under the garden near the African museum down the rabbit hole next to the castle.  Can register at the member rate $85, by saying the magic words, WSFA."

Mike Nelson said, "The money you save by not going to Disclave can pay for it."

John said, "Paul Levinson was added at the last minute."

Judy then called on Lee Gilliland for the Library committee.  "We don't have a date.  Between Christmas and New Years they will be doing a week of children's events.  So we will have it this year."  The entertainment committee went to Albacon and had a good time, but the other half of the committee has not forgiven him.

Sam said that the Publications Committee wants to know if WSFA wanted to fund an address book.  Not more than $25.  The club voted yes by affirmation.

Old business:  Joe said that "Balticon voted us a room on Friday until 11:30, no later because we all have something else to do.  Open party, people meet WSFA <and flee in terror.>  I have suggested that those who go to Balticon do something together to help out in registeration or something visible.  Of the people who are going to Baltimore, who would be willing to work?" About ten hands went up.  "I don't know where we'd be needed but registration needs people early Friday.  This was not a condition, but it would be good.  Do we want to do something on Balticon Friday?"  People said yes.  "Does anyone want to coordinate?"  Deafening silence.  "I'll do it," volunteered Joe.  

There was no new business.  Alex Slate left us some issues of Philosfy 13.  A Survey about fandom for a dissertation was distributed.  There was a book sale at goodwill that Thursday.  Jim Thomas is here is case Lee Smoire shows up for a poker game (she did.)  Move we adjourn unanimously supported 9:41.  Erica said, "And Lee didn't get here in time to abstain." 

Attendance: Pres. Judy Kindell, Sec. Samuel Lubell, Treas Bob MacIntosh, Trust. Lee Gilliland, 2000 Chair Covert Beach, Alexis Gilliland, Erica and Karl Ginter, Eric Jablow, Nicki and Richard Lynch, Keith Marshall, Joe Mayhew, Walter Miles, Michel Nelson, Barry and Judy Newton, Meridel Newton, Evan Phillips, John Pomeranz, Dick Roepke, William Squire, Colleen Cahill, Michael Taylor, Madeleine Yeh.

 

Writing Science Fiction

By Michael Nelson

          On October 22nd and 23rd, the Smithsonian Associates co-sponsored a weekend seminar on writing science fiction with the Washington Science Fiction Association.  I started my evening with a quick side trip over to the Washington Convention Center to check out the annual Goodwill Industries Used Book Sale.  This year I struck pay dirt and left with a shopping bag full of good SF paperbacks -- definitely the bargain of the year at 90¢ each.

          The Friday night events were held in the Smithsonian's Discovery Theater located in the Arts and Industries Building.  It's been a few years since my last visit, so I was surprised to see that the Philadelphia Centennial Exposition exhibit was gone.  The west hall was empty of steam engines and all those other marvels of the nineteenth century.  I know the Smithsonian is called the nation's attic, but seeing all that vacant space really made me think about how much STUFF the Smithsonian must have stashed away somewhere!

          Over one hundred people attended the seminar.  Sadly, only six WSFA members were able to participate.  Eighty-five dollars is a lot to spend to listen to discussions you can hear at most SF conventions.  But I doubt you have ever heard such focused analysis on the craft of writing science fiction.  John Pomeranz did an outstanding job of putting together a comprehensive overview of this literary genre we love.  His panelists were well chosen and had taken the time to prepare for their panels.  John Clute proved to be an intelligent and charming moderator and kept everyone on topic throughout the seminar.  The discussions were open and energetic -- the seminar coordinator remarked that this event had much more audience enthusiasm and involvement than the usual Smithsonian Associates seminar.

          The evening started with panel members Brenda Clough (author of several science fiction novels, most recently How Like a God), David Hartwell (editor at Tor Books); and Paul Levinson (author and president of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America) having a good time attempting to categorize science fiction.  Unfortunately, Washington Post writer, Michael Dirda, was not able to attend.

          William Gibson followed the opening panel with an entertaining talk on the experiences that led him to writing his first novel, Neuromancer.  It's amazing to realize that Neuromancer -- the starting point of cyberpunk -- was written with a typewriter and that the inspiration for much of cyberspace was a brief overheard bar conversation between two Pentagon keypunch operators.

          We met on Saturday in the S. Dillon Ripley Center, hidden three stories below the Smithsonian Castle's Enid A. Haupt Garden.  Authors Roger MacBride Allen, Catherine Asaro, Susan Casper, Ann C. Crispin, Elizabeth Hand, Eric Kotani (Yoji Kondo), Shariann Lewitt, Michael Swanwick, and Lawrence Watt-Evans along with editors Gardner Dozois and Betsy Mitchell spent the day talking about the mechanics of writing science fiction.  We discussed story plotting, extrapolation, background construction, character development, and the business aspects of a writing career.  The panelists shared personal experiences about breaking into publishing, writing media tie-in novels, finding agents, researching technical details, and useful resources such as the SFWA web site and science fiction conventions.

          People were cautioned about vanity presses -- the cash is supposed to flow from the publisher to the author, not the other way around.  A question on web sites that post stories invoked strong reactions, especially from the editors.  Someone will always be needed to weed out the junk.  We were discouraged from trying to write Star Trek or Star Wars novels.  In most cases, you need to be an established writer before a publisher will consider your novel and most of them only work through agents.

          So, as I mentioned, it was mostly stuff you can hear at any convention.  But I think that because it was a Smithsonian Institute event, everyone put much more effort and energy into their presentations.  I still don't know how to write science fiction, but I'm even more grateful there are people who do know.

          The Smithsonian people took good care of us and even invited the WSFA attendees to lunch with the seminar participants in the Castle's Associate Dining Commons.  I thank John Pomeranz for organizing this event and Judy Kindell, Kathi Overton, and Bob MacIntosh for manning a WSFA table on Saturday.

 

 

Fuddy the Vampire Slayer

by Eric Jablow

This story is © 1999 by Eric Jablow, but don't let that fool you; all the named characters are property of Warner Brothers Movies and Television. On the other hand, parodies are protected by the copyright laws.

Oh, and the music mentioned here appeared in very many of the classic WB cartoons.

Merrie Melodies

Music: The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down

Bugs Bunny

IN

Fuddy the Vampire Slayer

Scene: A starry night, ¾ moon. A wooded area.

Music: Powerhouse, by the Raymond Scott Quintette, adapted by Carl Stalling.

A tall figure in a cape runs directly toward the camera. Behind it is a shorter man in a trenchcoat. Suddenly, a tunnel extends itself from the left side of the screen, stops in the center, and Bugs Bunny pokes his head out. The caped figure trips and falls into the hole.

Bugs: "Hey, what's the big idea?"

Cape: "Run! The Slayer!"

Cape disappears down the tunnel.

Bugs: "This isn't Pismo Beach! I must have made a wrong turn at Albequerque."

The trenchcoated figure is in the center of the screen, holding a crossbow, and with a large wooden stake propped up behind his ear.

Elmer: "Be vewwy vewwy quiet. I'm hunting vampiyas. Heh heh heh heh heh."

Elmer raises his crossbow and fires. The bolt flies between Bugs' ears, just missing the top of his head; Bugs ducks back into the hole. Elmer runs to the hole and starts jabbing into it with a wooden stake.

Elmer: "Die! Die fiend! Back to Hell with you!"

Bugs raises himself out the hole, munching a carrot, and fingers the tip of the stake.

Bugs: "Eh, what's up doc? And, watch where you stick that thing, will ya. Somebody might get hurt."

Elmer: "Time to die, vamp! I'm Fuddy the Vampiya Slayuh and it's Vampiya Season, so die!"

Bugs dodges the stake thrust, grabs Elmer's hat and pulls it down over his entire head, and runs off.

Music: Dinner Music for a Pack of Hungry Cannibals, by the Raymond Scott Quintette, adapted by Carl Stalling.

Bugs races through the forest while dodging occasional crossbow bolts from Elmer.

Bugs comes to a road; he sees a sign:

Welcome to Sunnydale, California
Pop. 8706

A bell tolls next to the sign.

Pop. 8705

Toll

Pop. 8704

Toll

Pop. 8703

Toll

Pop. 8702

Bugs: "Duh-yee! I really made a wrong turn at Albequerque."

A crossbow bolt nicks Bugs' tail and embeds itself in a tree. Bugs marches over to Elmer.

Bugs: "Hey, doc! What makes you think I'm a vampire, eh?"

Elmer: "Vampiyas wise fwom theya gwaves at night, and you wose fwom youwa gwave at night."

Bugs: "My hole, a grave-why, I'll have you know I live in a split-level hole with three bedrooms and 2 full bathrooms."

Elmer: "And vampiyas have big teeth. You have big teeth."

Bugs: "Me, a vampire? Why, I could never hurt a fly."

A fly buzzes around the two of them.

Bugs: "Do you see that fly?"

Elmer: "Yessss."

Bugs tries to swat the fly away, but misses; the followthrough whaps Elmer in the face. Elmer turns red-steam roils from the top of his bald scalp. Elmer dives for Bugs, but Bugs jumps out of the way. Elmer chases Bugs.

Sunnydale Municipal Cemetery

Bugs: "Well, if he's looking for dead guys..."

Maid Service Available

Bugs: "What kind of town is this anyway?"

Bugs runs into the cemetery, followed by Elmer. They chase each other through a graveyard. Elmer trips over a headstone and lands on his face; his nose crunches up like an accordion.

They find themselves at a double row of mausoleums; Bugs heads into one and slams the door. Elmer goes to it and tries to go in, when Bugs comes out of a different crypt behind him. This repeats about 8 times. Finally, Elmer goes to the crypt Bugs has just entered. The door is locked.

Elmer: "All wight. Come out now, ow I'll bwast you out."

Bugs walks through the crypt-there are stairs leading to a basement.

Bugs: "Never seen a split-level town house for the dead before."

Bugs goes down the stairs, only to find a room with a couch, a television, and a coffin.

Bugs: "A television? Who's here to watch it?"

A clattering noise comes from upstairs.

Elmer (off-screen): "All wight, I got you now, foul vampiya!"

Bugs: "Well, there's only one place to hide."

Bugs goes to the coffin, opens it, and climbs in, nudging its occupant aside.

Bugs: "Excuse me."

Coffin Guy: "Don't mention it."

Bugs: "Aiiyee!"

Bugs explodes out of the coffin and jumps into Elmer's arms.

Bugs: "Did you see that?"

Elmer: "What?"

Bugs: "Hey, put me down."

Bugs climbs down. The coffin creaks, and both Bugs and Elmer race up the stairs and out of the crypt.

They make it outside and slam the door shut.

Bugs: "Oh, thank you for saving me."

Bugs gives Elmer a big kiss, and then pulls Elmer's hat down over his face again. Bugs runs off.

Elmer: "I hate that vampiya."

Elmer gives chase. They race up and down the hills of the cemetery, Elmer occasionally firing crossbow bolts at Bugs. Finally, Bugs hops a fence and finds himself on a city street.

Bugs: "Whew, I didn't think I'd ever lose him. Well, I could use a drink right now."

Bugs walks down the street, turns a corner, only to find Elmer standing in front of him, crossbow aimed at his heart.

Elmer: "Say youwa pwayuhs, vamp."

Bugs sinks to his knees, steeples his hands, and prays.

Elmer: "Now stand up. This won't huwt a bit."

Suddenly, a tall man in a blue uniform looms over Elmer.

Officer: "You're under arrest!"

Elmer: "But, but-"

Officer: "Don't you know it's illegal to carry a loaded crossbow within the city limits? You're coming with me."

Elmer: "But, Officuh-"

Officer: "Tell it to the judge."

The policeman handcuffs Elmer and drags him off. Bugs turns up the street.

Bugs: "What a maroon. What an im-bessle."

Loud music [a distorted version of A Cup of Coffee, a Sandwich, and You] pours from a club across the street, and Bugs heads in.

Bugs finds a seat at the center of the bar.

Bartender: "What would you like?"

Bugs: "Carrot juice."

Bartender: "Two bucks. Coming right up."

The bartender pours a glass of carrot juice from a bottle, and hands it to Bugs. He then turns to the six people sitting to Bugs' left:

Bartender: "Here you go: a mocha blast, a tomato juice, an iced tea, a double espresso, and two decafs."

All: "Thanks."

Bugs turns to the woman next to him.

Bugs: "Can you believe this town? Some guy thought I was a vampire. Vampires don't exist!"

Buffy: "Well, you never know what you'll find here in Sunnydale."

In unison:
Angel:
Cordelia:
Xander:
Willow:
Oz: "Hear, hear!"

Bugs looks at them. Bugs looks at the mirror behind the bar. Bugs does a double-take, and stares at the gang.

Bugs: "One, two, three, four, five, six."

Bugs looks at the mirror.

Bugs: "One, two, three, four, five."

Bugs looks at Angel.

Bugs looks at the mirror.

Bugs looks at Angel.

Bugs: "Bye!"

Bugs turns and runs right through the door, leaving a Bugs-shaped hole.

Bartender: "What's his problem?"

All: "Tourists!"

Closing credits:

Porky: "Th-th-th-th-that's all folks!"

 

 

A Conspiracy?

By Anonymous

 

Rumors are circulating that the CC is once again on the rise.  This group, formerly known as the "Cookie Conspiracy", has possibly resurfaced under the guise of the "Chip Conspiracy" and even a "Crunchy-munchy Conspiracy".  All these revolve around WSFA members bringing snack food of their choice to meetings to share.  One scientist pooh-poohs the conspiracy as "imaginings of hungry WFSAns, starved for pretzels and cheese curls." Another researcher feels the conspiracy could be real, with cookies, veggies, dip, and more mysteriously victuals appearing at WFSA gatherings from unnamed sources. Only time will show if the evidence supports this theory.

 

Treasurer's Report

By Bob MacIntosh

 

Expenses Paid:

First Friday                    $90.00

WSFA Journal               $30.18

Third Friday (Sept)        $65.00

Third Friday (Oct)          $90.00

 

Total for Oct                    $275.18

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Greeks bearing gifts

From the Internet

>From: laocoon@crete.org

>To:  hector@troy.org

>Subject: VIRUS WARNING

>X-Mailer: Internet Mail Service (5.0.1459.74)

>

>At 05:40 PM 11/8/35 poseidon@olympus.com wrote:

>WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!

>

>IF YOU RECEIVE A GIFT IN THE SHAPE OF A LARGE WOODEN HORSE DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT!!!! It

>is EXTREMELY DESTRUCTIVE and will overwrite your ENTIRE CITY!

>

>The "gift" is disguised as a large wooden horse about two stories tall. It tends to show up outside the city

>gates and appears to be abandoned.

>

>DO NOT let it through the gates! It contains hardware that is incompatible with Trojan programming,

>including a crowd of heavily armed Greek warriors that will destroy your army, sack your town, and kill your

>women and children. If you have already received such a gift, DO NOT OPEN IT! Take it back out of the

>city unopened and set fire to it by the beach.

>

>FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

>

>Poseidon

 

 

Laocoon,

 

I hate to break to you, but this is one of the oldest hoaxes there is. I've seen variants on this warning come through on other listservs, one involving some kind of fruit that was supposed to kill the people who ate it and one having to do with something called the "Midas Touch".

 

Here are a few tip-offs that this is a hoax:

 

1) This "Forward this message to everyone you know" business. If it were really meant as a warning about the Greek army, why tell anyone to post it to the Phoenicians, Sumerians, and Cretans?

 

2) Use of exclamation points. Always a giveaway.

 

3) It's signed "from Poseidon". Granted he's had his problems with Odysseus but he's one of their guys, isn't he? Besides, the lack of a real header with a detailed address makes me suspicious.

 

4) Technically speaking, there is no way for a horse to overwrite your entire city. A horse is just an animal, after all.

 

Next time you get a message like this, just delete it. I appreciate your concern, but once you've been around the block a couple times you'll realize how annoying this kind of stuff is.

 

Bye now,

 

Hector