The Official Newsletter of the Washington Science Fiction Association -- ISSN 0894-5411

Sam Pierce's Reviews
When Nothing Else is On and No One Shows Up Anyway
What If
Who Wants to Marry a SF Hero(ine)
WSFA Attendance
Diet Cherry 7-Up - It's Pink
Treasurer's Report
Outward Bound
Merge-matic books

Sam Pierce's Reviews

Is Veiled Web, by Catherine Asaro, suspense, romance, or science fiction? Dr. Asaro's latest paperback is actually all three and is a very pleasant and enjoyable read. It is also educational, an unexpected gift from this relatively new author. You get to feel the passion and disciple of the prima ballerina. You see a likely future of the web-browser as this information utility continues to evolve. You peek into the large and enclosed family that is the Islamic/Arabic seraglio and feel how it can support and yet stifle the individual members. I do hope she has her background on the latter correct, as this is one of the better depictions I've read.

Dr. Asaro has finally given us a novel in near future setting, one outside her Skolian Empire/Ruby Dynasty universe. Set far enough in the future to last on the bookstore shelves for a few years without becoming mired in anachronisms, it's close enough to today for CNN to be reporting on some of its key events. The suspense tale hangs on the identities of a major innovator in web technology and those who'd try to control it to their own ends. (Much as some shortsighted bureaucrats would tax activities on the web today.) The romance is no bodice-ripper but the coming of age story of a young woman caught in high-level intrigue and cross-cultural confusion. The science-fiction story hinges on the further growth of the emerging information society and the technology that supports.

Veiled Web (Bantam Books, ISBN: 0-553-58151-1, $5.99) is a well-told tale by an author developing a fine voice to go with her dance and scientific credentials.

Eagle Against the Stars, by Steve White, Baen Books, ISBN: 0671-57846-4, is, on the other hand, not well-told. Two and half chapters into the novel, I was sufficiently put off by the author's repeated attempts to push hot buttons rather than develop the story that I tossed it. Enough said.

Finally, let me recommend a novel I'm presently reading. Code of Conduct by Kristine Smith, ISBN: 0-380-80783-1, is a fine science fiction story with well developed characters, both human and alien. This is a political story, not political in the pejorative sense in general use today but political in describing the process we use to make decisions and allocate resources. Smith's process is very different from that in C. J. Cherryh's Cyteen but just as well thought out. The aliens she creates also remind me of Cherryh's work. Both authors demonstrate great skill in realizing and portraying entities very different from us physically and culturally. Code is also a murder mystery, but the science fiction premise of cultures in conflict and conjunction is at the heart of story. While I'll have finished it by tonight, my recommendation won't wait. Enjoy it.

When Nothing Else is On and No One Shows Up Anyway

The 2/4 First Friday meeting was called to order by Prez Judy banging the gavel. "It's 9:16," she claimed. Sec. Sam reported a bunch of nonsense "We decided to use our grant money to buy a hotel" that translated to "I missed the meeting but there was no old business." The treasury was $2,658.82 according to email from the treasurer. Covert made calls, but said he had not much time to search (he did earn comp time, however.) He has tentative meetings with the McLean Hilton and Dulles Marriot. The Entertainment Committee reported that George W went down in flames in NH so SC polls have him down to near or behind McCain. Mike said that GW went to make a speech at Bob Jones University. Jokes were made about this would-be president. Eric for the Austerity said "I hope that people are bringing food." Lee said, "If you bring food, leave it at the kitchen counter. The hat for money is now upstairs at the piano." Erica said, "In Maryland, don't just hand it to her, put it in bowls. Don't open pretzels if three others there."

Joe said "The Maryland library committee passed the first Gorgon, the second is in chaos, said probably May or June. Proposed an adult, not dirty, event with local sf authors, more than an hour but not tracks. Probably the Greenbelt library which as space." Joe also reported, "Balticon giving us space. Open to the public 8-10, has sign-in sheet for people to volunteer on Friday. If willing to sing this, here's a little list." Judy added, "to work registration." Joe continued, "Everyone who does this will get a handmade badge." Eric asked, "Will there be a sedar this year?" Joe said, "I don't know but not next year."

Lee for the Arlington Library committee said, "They are interested in once a week readings <wow, went the club.> They want them on Wednesday night when nothing else goes on and no one shows up anyway."

Judy called on John for the Smithsonian Committee who reported, "They like us. They really like us. They want to do an event on CS Lewis and they called on us. They are looking for someone with expertise in his theological work although some knowledge of his fantasy would be good. I did research on the web and found someone at the U of MD with a Ph.D. who has mostly done work on Tolkien but also some on his fellow inklings." Joe and others suggested names. Mike Taylor suggested Screwtape.

Publications Committee was told that there was concern of timeliness of the web site. Keith Lynch volunteered to help out and Sam said he would meet with Keith and John after the meeting.

There was no other business. Lee has jewelry at Hole in the Wall Books. John said a fan is on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. AE Van Vogt died. Mary Struckov died from Argentina. Boston is bidding for the Worldcon in 2004 (which city people asked. Boston. Just because hotel situation is bad one year doesn't mean it will always be.)

Bad Sam Dept. It was pointed out that the dates of the January meetings were incorrectly reported in the Journal. First Friday was Jan 7 while third Friday was Jan 21^st. Also Mike Taylor's name was omitted from the list of paid members.

Attendance. Pres. Judy Kindell, VP Sam Pierce, Sec. Sam Lubell, Trust. Lee Gilliland, 2000 Chair Covert Beach, Bernard Bell, Chuck Divine, Alexis Gilliland, Erica Ginter, Eric Jablow, Keith Lynch, Nicki and Richard Lynch, Keith Marshall, Joe Mayhew, Michael Nelson, Lance Oszko, Rebecca Prather, Madeleine Yeh, Mathew Appleton, Jeremy Crampton, and the ghost of Slan.

What If

The next two events for the LC What IF... Science Fiction and Fantasy

Forum are:

March 8, 2000 "Colliding Galaxies: Cosmic Train Wrecks"

12:10pm Kirk Borne, Ph.D., Astrophysicist, Raytheon ITSS and NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

Dining Room A, 6th Floor, Madison Building

March 28, 2000 Ranma 1/2 video showing

12:10pm Japanese anime presented jointly by What IF... Forum and The LC Employee Film Society

Dining Room A, 6th Floor, Madison Building

Who Wants to Marry a SF Hero(ine)

By Samuel Lubell

Fresh from the problems with "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire", the producers of "Who Wants to Marry a SF Hero(ine)" have resolved to do better background checks for contestants. The WSFA Journal has acquired a copy of some of these dossiers; although no names are attached, sf fans should have no trouble figuring out who's who.

1. The dark lord knows his name. He was a companion of the King before his Return. And he saved his Earth. Drawback: He's very short, but has his own ring already.

2. She's saved the world from five apocalypses and counting. She's super-strong and pretty too. Drawback: If you sleep with her, you turn bad.

3. He defeated the bad aliens. He wrote a book that started a major religion. He's rich. And the computer that runs the universe likes him. Drawback: Most humans think he's a murderer for exterminating an intelligent species.

4. He can see the future. He rules a galactic empire. And he may be the long-awaited planetary messiah. Drawback: Addicted to drugs.

5. She's heir to a dead planet. She fought the mages. Her father runs the interplanetary military. Her sister-in-law has taken over the enemy and her brother the local equivalent of the Jedi. Drawback: Despite family connections, she's just a starship captain.

6. His enemies may be just shadows but in defeating them he forged an interstellar alliance. Drawback: For someone who is supposedly dead, his wife is awfully active.

7. The emperor calls him foster-brother. The mercenaries call him admiral. And he always has a plan. Drawbacks: Too clever for his own good and assorted medical problems.

8. She's the second most beautiful woman in the kingdom. And she's a witch with a shapechanger's powers. But that doesn't stop her from chasing her intended across the world and raising up an army of ghosts. Drawback: To marry her, you have to defeat a ghost in a riddle game.

9. Heir to an Earth fortunate and the powers of the Martians, this sf hero understands little of the world, but boy can he kiss. Drawback: He's a cannibal.

10. The princess calls him brother, the Dark Lord calls him son. Everyone else calls him Knight. He'll help save the universe from evil but gets upstaged by a scruffy scoundrel. Drawback: No personality once he stops pouting.

WSFA Attendance

By Keith Lynch

The following is an attendance grid of people present at WSFA meetings in 1998-2000 to date. V or M for Virginia or Maryland meeting. Lowercase for meetings we have no attendance info for. ! for the meeting that was split between Melbourne and Virginia, and B for the meeting at Balticon.

                      1998                    |1999                    |2000
                      J F M A M J J A S O N D |J F M A M J J A S O N D |J F M A
                      VMVMMVVMVMVMvm VVMVMVMVM|VMVMMVBMVMVMVMMV!VMMVMVM|VMVM
Matthew Appleton                              |                 *  * * |  *
Ayce                                          |                    *   |
Eric Baker                    *               |                        |
James Basinger                                |                 *      |
Covert Beach           *** ** ****    * ** ***|* ** * *** *****   **** |***
Bernard Bell          ****** *  **   ** ** *  | *****  ***   *****  *  |  **
Sheri Bell                             ***    |         ** *           |   *
Mary Bentley           *        *             |  *                     |*
Angela Blackwell                      *  * ***|                        |
Gerald Blackwell                      * ** ***|                        |
Lawrence Brom                         * *     |                        |
Laura Burchard                        *       |            *           |
Dan Burgess                    *              |                        |
Elspeth K. Burgess      ** * *****     * *  **|*****    * *   **    ***|*
Mary Burrett                                  |         *              |
Colleen Cahill                                |                  ** * *| * *
Chris Callahan             * * * *            |                        |
Carey Calthen                                 |                        |   *
"Boots" Coleman                        *      |                        |
Boels Coleman                 *               |                        |
Jeremy Crampton                               |                        |  *
Todd Dashoff                                  |      *                 |
Claude Deglar                *                |                        |
Steven desJardins         *              *    |                        |
Wayne Dionne                   *              |                        |
Chuck Divine            *   **   *   *        | * *                  * |  *
Gail Dood                       *       * * * |  *     * * *  **   *   |
Darin Dowty                *                  |                        |
Geoffrey Drumheller                  *** ** **|           *        *   |
Brian Dunnell                                 |                *       |
Donald Eastlake           *                   |                        |
Terrilee Edwards-Hewitt    *                  |                        |
Chris Fedeli                    *             |                        |
Alexis Gilliland      *** * ******   * **** **|**** ***** ******  *****| ***
Charles Gilliland                     * *     |*     *          *  *   |
Lee Gilliland         * * * * ***    * ** ****|* ** * ****** ***  *****|****
Erica Ginter           * *** *** *     *   * *| *  ** * * * **   ** * *| ***
Karl Ginter            *                   * *|       * *   **    *    | *
Lydia Ginter                  *               |                        |
Marc Gordon                   *               |                        |
Alan Grimes                                   |     *                  |
David Grimm             *                     |  *                     |
Joe Hall                               * *    |              *         |
Robin Hanson                                  |               *        |
Greg Herring                                  |                        | *
David Hines                              * ***|*  **  *   * ***        |
Dan Hoey                **** **       *       |      *                 |
Scott Hofmann                         * * *   |  *  *    *       *     |
Chris Holte           ***  **                 |  *   *                 |**
Daniel Horne                                  |         *    *   *    *|** *
Doug Houts                    **      *   *   |               *        |
Eric Jablow           ***** * ** *   * * **** |****** ****  ***********|* **
Jeanette                                      |      *                 |
Bill Jensen                *                 *|                        |
Patrick Katze                                 |         *              |
Ron Kean                    *                 |       * *   *    *     |   *
Judy Kindell           ** *  ** *    ** ******| *** *** * ** **** *** *|* *
Rebecca Kindell                              *|                        |
Cathy King                                    |                 *      |
Mike Kraig                                    |                      * |
Brian Lenius                                  |                      * |
Winnie Lim                            *  * ***|   **  *     **         |
Luciana Lopez                   *    ***  *   |                        |
Samuel Lubell         ***** **** *   *********|**** * *************** *|* **
Michael Lummis                                |                     *  | * *
Perrianne Lurie        ***     * *     * *    |                        |
Keith Lynch             * * * ** *    * * * * |* *  * ******* * ** *** |****
Nicki Lynch           **  ** *****   * * **  *|* **** *   ****   *** **|****
Richard Lynch         **  ** *****   * * **  *|* **** *   ****   *** **|****
Linda Lyons                                   |         *              |
Bob MacIntosh          ******** **   *********|* ***** ******* ***** **|** *
Candy Madigan                                 |          *   *         |   *
John Madigan           * * *     *            |          *             |   *
Keith Marshall         ****  ** *     * *     |  **  *   ** *  *  * * *|****
Kit Mason             *  *     * *            |     *        *        *|
Winton Matthews           *     *    *      * |      *   *    *        |
Bill Mayhew              **                   |                        |
Joe Mayhew            ***** ******     * *****|********** ****** ******|****
Linda Melnick                                 |      *                 |
Walter Miles             *               * * *|*                 ** ** | * *
Abner Mintz            *     *   *       *    | *     * *              |
Sara Miskevich         *     *   *       *    | *     *                |
Candy Myers            * * *   * *       *    |   *                    |
George Nelson           * ****  *             |   * * *                |
Michael Nelson        *** ********   ** * *** |  ** ****   ***  **** **| **
Barry Newton           *     * *       * *   *|   *  *       *   ** * *|*  *
Judy Newton                    *       *     *|   *  *       *   ** * *|   *
Meridel Newton         *     * *       * *   *|   *       *  *   ** * *|**
Chris O'Shea                                  |                        |   *
Lance Oszko           *   * **  **   * * **** |  *    **    **        *|  *
Kathi Overton         *   *** * *    *        |**  *****       *     * |
Aly Parsons                                   |      *                 |
Peggy Rae Pavlat        * *      *            |      *                 |
Shirl Phelps           *     *   *       *    | *       *              |
Evan Phillips              *** * *     * *    | * ***** * * **   ** * *| *
Sam Pierce            * * * * * **   *  *** * |*    *  ***  *  ***  * *|  *
Kathleen Plat                                 |                     *  | * *
John Pomeranz         ***********    **       |**  * ***   * ******* * |  *
Rebecca Prather       * * * * * *         * * |  *  *  * * *    *    * |  *
Richard Pugh                           *** ***|  ***                   |
Patrick Rabe                                  |       *                |
Barnaby Rappaport                             |      *                 |
Robyn Rissell                   *             |                        |
Dick Roepke                * * * *   *        |              *    *    |
Donna Rogall                                * |                        |
Ted Rosenburg                                 |      *                 |
Nick Sanders                                  | **                     |
John Sapienza             *               *   |      *                 |
Tom Schaad            *   *                   |                        |
Edmund Schlussel                              |                       *|*
Arun Seraphin           *                     |                        |
Rebecca Shafer                              * |                        |
George Shaner           *********    * *******|*** ** ****  ****** ****|**
Jon Singer                                    |                        | *
Marian Skatski                                |                        | *
Alexander Slate                               |                 **     |
Steven Smith          * ***** ****    **  *  *|  * ** ***   ***  *   **|*
T.R. Smith                      *             |                        |
Victoria Smith            *   *       *       |  *   *     *           |
William Squire             **  *           *  | *  *      *      **  * |   *
Lee Strong            ****    * *        **   |         ** *  ***  * * |
Colleen Stumbaugh      *   *         *        |    *  * * *  *         |
Michael Taylor        *** * ******   * * *** *|* ** * * **  ***********|** *
Ronald Taylor              *     *         *  |                        |
Ginny Tracy                                   |    *                   |
Jim Tracy              *   *                  |    *                   |
Andreas Trageser                              |              *         |
James Uba                 *     *     *       |     *         * *     *|
Meredith Wagner       *      * *       *  *   |    *    *              |
Michael Walsh         **  * ****         * * *|*    ***  **  *       **|**
Michael Watkins         * *                  *|  *              *      |
Sue Wheeler                                   |      *                 |
Martin M. Wooster         *           *       |      *                 |
Madeleine Yeh         * * **  *      *  * *** |   ***  **   **   **   *|***
Beth Zipser                 *         *       |                        |
Mike Zipser                 *         *       |                        |

Top 10 in attendance (for 1998, 1999, and 2000 to date):

As expected, all ten (with the possible exception of Abner Mintz whose address I don't have) live in Maryland.

Virginia vs. Maryland attendance cross-plot. Each * represents one person. The horizontal axis is how many Maryland meetings that person attended, and the vertical axis is how many Virginia meetings they attended. A 2 (or other numeral) represents 2 (or more) stars in the same position. A + represents more than 9 stars in the same position.

There's a V where someone who attended all 23 Virginia meetings and no Maryland meetings would be plotted. There were no such people. There's an M where someone who attended all 24 Maryland meetings and no Virginia meetings would be plotted. There were no such people. There's an A where someone who attended all meetings would be plotted. There were no such people. There's an 0 where someone who attended no meetings would be plotted. There were about six billion such people.

V                                               A

                                *
                                        *   *
                      *     *       *
                                *       2
                                                *
                      *       *         *
  *             *
                          *   *       2

                      *
        *
*       *                   *
                    *   *
                        *

  * *
* * *   3
* 3   *                                     *
  * * * *   *   * *                 *
5     * * 3 *   * *
+ 7 4 *   * 3             * *
0 + 2 3     3 *   * *                           M

My understanding is that the officers are currently Covert Beach, Judy Kindell, Samuel Lubell, Bob MacIntosh, and Sam Pierce. (Trustees don't count as officers, right?) And that it was the same in 1999, except that in May and before, Elspeth was VP rather than Sam Pierce.

If so, there were three meetings in 1999 with all five officers present: Both February meetings, and the second May meeting (which was in Virginia). There have not yet been any meetings in 2000 with all officers present. I'll figure out 1998 some other day.

The average attendance of Virginia meetings was 24.7. The average attendance of Maryland meetings was 27.5.

People who have attended at least three meetings in 1998 and 1999, but who have not attended any in the past six months (September 1999 through February 2000):

Angela Blackwell, Gerald Blackwell, Chris Callahan, Joe Hall, David Hines, Dan Hoey, Doug Houts, Winnie Lim, Luciana Lopez, Perrianne Lurie, Winton Matthews, Abner Mintz, Sara Miskevich, George Nelson, Peggy Rae Pavlat, Shirl Phelps, Richard Pugh, John Sapienza, Tom Schaad, Victoria Smith, Ronald Taylor, Jim Tracy, Meredith Wagner, Martin Morse Wooster, Beth Zipser, and Mike Zipser. (Ok, Tom Schaad, Beth Zipser, and Mike Zipser only attended two, but they also attended 1997 meetings, and their names are prominent in Disclave staff and volunteer listings. Presumably they moved out of the area?) <Editor's note, if you know these people, invite them back!>

I asked one more question of the attendance data: Which two people who had been to the most meetings had no meetings in common? The answer is Erica Ginter with 28 meetings and Gail Dood with eleven. As far as I can tell from the available data, these two WSFA members may never have met! I'll have to ask them.

Diet Cherry 7-Up - It's Pink

The 2/18 third Friday meeting in Maryland was called to order by Bob Macintosh (since Sec. Sam said he couldn't take notes and preside at the same time.) "Alright, it's time for a meeting. Judy is not feeling well, said she has a cold. Alright, this is the third Friday for WSFA in February. By my watch 9:16." Sam reported, "No old business. We were too tuckered out from all the committees." Bob took up his regular hat and reported, "$2,376.52" Lee suggested holding a white sale. Joe said, "This is Maryland, you won't find a lot of white sheets here."

Alexis said the Entertainment Committee has the Republican debates. Maybe they'll go away. John added, "With the flaming liberal John McCain." Joe said, "Make your list of ten people most worthy of being hanged. <singing> I've got a little list/ And they never will be missed."

Lee said the trustees have nothing to report. Her library committee reported that the Library Board will discuss her proposal at their next meeting early next month. Joe reminded the trustees to start looking for officer candidates." Eric said, "People brought. Yay. Keep on doing it." Sam for publications said, "We're looking for submissions or I'll start printing my undergraduate thesis. <Ed. Note, you were spared because so many people contributed to this issue. Keep it up or you will see it! >

Erica said, "We're doing traveling this summer so there may be a few third Fridays we won't be here." Alexis said, "We won't be in town for Worldcon Friday." Erica said, "So consider this an opportunity to clean up your place." Someone pointed out that Third Friday in March is Balticon, Bob ruled that the Third Friday Maryland Meeting will be held in Baltimore at Balticon. Keith said, "In a bloodless coup, I took over the WSFA web site. Email me updated information with your email address and home page. I am working on a complete list of Disclaves that will list all the Disclave GOH and convention chairs." Joe offered his list of everyone who worked on a Disclave. "Not to mention a link to asb," said Eric.

There was no more new business. Bob said that Judy Found out that the reception for the Frank Art exhibit will be held on Thursday with panel on Friday http://inform.umd.edu/artgal Chris O'Shea is visiting from England. Joe said, "He wears glasses so no one can ask `O'Shea can you see?'" O'Shea said, "This is my third or fourth meeting. I went to Disclave 1980. Visit my website. http://www.smofcon.com on the web. And thanks for the diet Cherry 7-up. It's... it's... it's pink." Since he had attended at least two meetings and a Disclave, he was convinced to join WSFA as our first trans-Atlantic member. Lee reported her new email quinqunx_2000@yahoo.com. Joe said he is now responsible for doing the address list. "If want it correct look closely." There is a convention next week in Mars. PA. Truck owned by Cranberry Plumbing and one by Affordable Trash. West Virginia jokes were made. Alexis said that his toilet stopped working on Wednesday, a plumber came and fixed that then had to return for the furnace. Now he is waiting for the third thing. Lee added, "Don't you dare." Meeting adjourned at 9:35. Attendance: Sec. Samuel Lubell, Treas. Bob MacIntosh, trust. Lee Gilliland, Bernard Bell, Colleen Cahill, Alexis Gilliland, Erica Ginter, Eric Jablow, Keith Lynch, Nicki and Richard Lynch, Candy Madigan, Keith Marshall, Joe Mayhew, Walter Miles, Barry and Judy Newton, William Squire, Michael Taylor, Sheri Bell, Carey Calthen, Chris O'Shea, the Magician, Daniel Horne, Michael Lummis, Kathleen Pleet, John Madigan, Ron Kean

Treasurer's Report

Here is what we did - moneywise - in WSFA for February (it should be remembered that I missed the First Friday meeting, so will have to include both Feb's First Friday costs)

Expenses:

Lawyers Fees for Reincorporation: $238.00

Third Friday Meeting: $ 25.00

WSFA Journal $ 27.30

Total Expenses $290.30

Income: Chris O'Shea Dues $ 10.00

Outward Bound by James Hogan, Four Stars

Reviewed by Meridel Newton

In this book, fifteen-year-old Linc Marani is a street kid in Los Angeles, just trying to get by. When one job turns out to be an ambush, Linc finds himself facing life in a labor camp... or accepting a mysterious proposal from a strange psychologist. When he accepts the proposal, Linc finds himself swept into a new, and far more interesting (to his point-of-view) life. It turns out that when he accepted the psychologist's proposal, he agreed to train for, and become a citizen of the newly formed outer-space society. In the process, he makes enemies, friends, and has a few adventures.

I found this book interesting. While the writing was at first a little weak, the story was enough to keep me reading. The first 20 pages or so gave the impression that the author was trying to give you his entire life in two days, but after that the plot picks up.

There were a few points were I didn't feel the author gave enough detail; Linc seemed to be an emotionless protagonist. One part, where the protagonist sees his future girlfriend for the first time in half a year, seemed a little cold, and was written categorically. Most other times, though, the character was extremely emotive.

I've got to admit the ending lacked something. I thought it seemed a bit of a letdown, or maybe it ended too soon. Whatever it was, there was no sense of "Okay, the story is over now." It left one looking for the little note that told you to watch out for the sequel. Maybe it should simply be reworded, but I thought Mr. Hogan did not choose the best place to end his story.

All in all, I liked it, though. There were a few places where the author could have written it a little better, but I thought the story was a good one, and worth the time it took to read it. I give this book four stars, and would recommend it to others who are interested in coming-of-age science fiction.

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Merge-matic books

Submitted by Colleen Cahill

From the Washington Post Invitational: Report from Week 312, in which readers were asked to combine the works of two authors and provide a suitable blurb.

"Machiavelli's The Little Prince"-Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed. (Erik Anderson, Tempe, Ariz.)

First Runner-Up:

"Green Eggs and Hamlet" Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery. (Robin Parry, Arlington)

And the Winner of the Dancing Critter:

"Fahrenheit 451 of the Vanities"-An '80s yuppie is denied books. He does not object, or even notice. (Mike Long, Burke)

Honorable Mentions:

"Where's Walden?"-Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is always in the woods. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

"Catch-22 in the Rye"-Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you're flunking out of prep school, you're probably not insane. (Brendan Beary, Great Mills)

"2001: A Space Iliad"-The Hal 9000 computer wages an insane 10-year war against the Greeks after falling victim to the Y2K bug. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

"Rikki-Kon-Tiki-Tavi"-Thor Heyerdahl recounts his attempt to prove Rudyard Kipling's theory that the mongoose first came to India on a raft from Polynesia. (David Laughton, Washington)

"The Maltese Faulkner"-Is the black bird a tortured symbol of Sam's struggles with race and family? Does it signify his decay of soul along with the soul of the Old South? Is it merely a crow, mocking his attempts to understand? Or is it worth a cool mil? (Thad Humphries, Warrenton)

"Tarzan of the Grapes"-The beleaguered Okies of the dust bowl are saved by a strong and brave savage who swings from grapevine to grapevine. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

"Curious Georgefather"-The monkey finally sticks his nose where it don't belong. (Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

"The Hunchback Also Rises"-Hideously deformed fellow is cloistered in bell tower by despicable clergymen. And that's the good news ... (John Verba, Washington)

"The Silence of the Hams"-In this endearing update of the Seuss classic, young Sam-I-Am presses unconventional foodstuffs on his friend, Hannibal, who turns the tables. (Mark Eckenwiler, Washington)

"Portnoy's Choice": A man is forced to choose between his right and left hand. (Tom Witte, Gaithersburg)

"Jane Eyre Jordan": Plucky English orphan girl survives hardships to lead the Chicago Bulls to the NBA championship. (Dave Pickering, Bowie)

"Nicholas and Alexandra Nickleby"-Having narrowly escaped a Bolshevik firing squad, the former czar and czarina join a troupe of actors only to find that playing the Palace isn't as grand as living in it. (Sandra Hull, Arlington)

"Looking for Mr. Godot"-A young woman waits for Mr. Right to enter her life. She has a looong wait. (Jonathan Paul, Garrett Park)

Web Page Lures Brit to WSFA

By Keith Lynch

Chris O'Shea contacted me on Friday the 11th, having found my e-mail address on our web page. And that we got together on Sunday the 13th, and took the Metro to DC, where we went to the Air and Space Museum, the American History Museum, and a used book store near Dupont Circle.

I gave him directions to that Friday's WSFA meeting, and offered to let him stay at my apartment on Friday night if he didn't want to pay for an extra hotel night.

He did show up at WSFA, but had apparently talked his employer into paying for an extra hotel night. I gather he had done something with the other two Lynches.